oh what a feeling

The 15 year old girl who first says she wants counseling. Then I find out later, that two weeks in she didn't want to go anymore. Her dad was forcing the issue for awhile till he gave up, calling to say she would no longer be in. I told him I would check back in two weeks to see if that is still what she decided.

So I called, as I promised and this time got to speak to the girl. I now learn that she says she may want another counselor. This is one of those moments of illusionary reflection as you replay your experience with her trying to find the signal that it wasn't working. I'm a professional, so I ask. "Sure we could find another counselor, but what is it you would need in a counselor so we can find the right match." She describes wanting to talk about "whatever", no planned topics, playing games, walking around, no pressure to talk about things. Well, okay, I can do that...it's not really therapy, but I'm also well trained in being a mentor, or big sister soooo..... I tell her, "it sounds sort of like what we were doing", and I could certainly support her even more in that style if it is what she would like. She agrees to come in next week.

And now, this strange feeling. Did I do something wrong? Have I just coerced her to continue in therapy....I certainly didn't mean to. I hope she doesn't think I was pushy..it's an awkward situation for both of us. I really hope she does make it in next week so we can discuss this more....or not...she will control the conversation....It feels weird to be "fired" from a client when you think everything is going well. But I suppose in the long run it can feel even better if we work this out and she gets what she needs by coming in. I do think that can happen. Some people really want to "work" in therapy. They want direction, assignments, bold statements. Others don't. She was sexually abused as a younger child. She wants control back. I can do that for her. It will feel weird, until it doesn't anymore. I'll probably dismiss it by tomorrow, then re-think of it only as the time approached for her to arrive next week. She is a bold 15 year old girl. Doing the absolute right thing by asking for what she wants. If only I was so bold at 15.